Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Steps

A teacher told me once, a long time ago, that walking was just the continual act of falling and catching yourself. For me it's a profound thought. It takes a seemingly easy task, a task that comes as easy as breathing and makes it a powerful act, a purposeful act. On hard days I still think of those words. When I'm exhausted and can't get my head back into the task at hand I think of all the steps I've taken in my life, how unconscious and easy they were and empower myself to finish out my day by taking just a few more purposeful ones. I've continued to catch myself so far, so I know I'm strong enough to keep at it through the end of my day. 

Today was a good day for me but a hard day for some of the people I love. I'm thinking of them and sending them thoughts of loveliness. I hope all of you find comfort in the simple acts. 

Monday, April 28, 2014

Live or Let Die-t: A Weighty issue

"A man walks down the street says why am soft in the middle now? Why am I soft in the middle, the rest of my life is so hard?" ~Paul Simon, Call Me Al

Today I had the opportunity to go to a presentation on sustainable farming and the products that are produced from it. For a while now our farming practices have been called to attention. Films like Food Inc. and Forks Over Knives show the industrial side of things and how awful things have gotten, especially on the animal side of things. Suffice to say its not a new topic, but its certainly not one that will be ended anytime soon.

It is hard to say industrial farming is bad. I believe it is more correct to say that industrial farming has become bad, fallen to the allude of greed and need instead of standing on principles. Industrialism had a lot of flaws, but it also had a lot of perks. The lives we are so comfortable in today come from this movement and industrial farming played a big part in creating that comfort. Honestly, it wasn't industrial farming that failed us, somewhere along the way it became capitalistic farming and that's where things started getting dicey. I get it. Farming doesn't yield a lot of money and the game is always changing 'improvements' are being made everyday to the point where we our out-engendering ourselves. I know farmers who accidentally ran themselves out of business because they created a use for their product that never went bad so the supply for their product began to dry up.

Some people take the stance of not partaking of the flawed product anymore, in this case I mean vegans and vegetarians. They can't stand the animal cruelty, the horrific practices, the absurd conditions, or the poisonous medications that are pumped into our animals, our food supply. To them, I tip my hat. What they do takes some serious dedication, passion, and vigilance. Those not into the animal-free scene would probably be surprised at the amount of things that animal parts and products are a part of. Forsaking all these things to put a dent in the profit margins of big farming is certainly one way of attacking the problem, but I am not convinced that its a real solution.

Farming, like I said earlier, has become a game of economics and capitalism. The point is to sell a product, if a certain group of people stop consuming that product then they are no longer a viable source of revenue. Big Farms know that the entire population will not turn vegan/vegetarian overnight-if ever- so they know there will always be a demand for their product. The people who will make the biggest impact on farming practices will be the consumers, the people they know they get their money from. If we want farming to change we must demand that change.

The changes, whatever they may be depending on what kinds of farms we are talking about, will come when we explain that we DO want to keep eating their product, we just don't want to eat all the other crap that comes with it. We have to express our interest in continuing to support our agriculture but advocating that they, at the very least, curb their practices.

A lot of this will happen when we gain knowledge about our food and how it is produced. The more we know the more involved we'll want to get. Something that was mentioned in the talk today was that sustainable farms often welcome visitors. They are happy to show you their lands and their animals, they WANT to show you what they are all about because it is a point of pride for them. They have no fear of the public eye because they aren't doing anything that can be portrayed as shameful or bad. They WANT you to know where your food comes from and how it comes about. Most of the time, if ever, Big farms do not want to give you a tour of their operation. In fact, there are still plenty of instances where people have been thrown in jail for trying to get footage of what its like inside one of those places. Granted, these people are probably trespassing and can be seen as a security risk, plus they most likely had to break in to achieve their goals, but the point still stands albeit on shaky legs.

Right now there is this truly beautiful thing happening in the world of food. Education. People want to know where their food is coming from and how its made. Is it really so far a stretch to look at how it was taken care of while it was still in the ground or walking around? The more knowledge we have on this subject the better we will all be. Yes, the footage that can be found can also be gruesome, but isn't that the point? Should we shy away from something that is a cornerstone of our everyday? How our food came to our table should not make us nauseated. If we feel sick from the information, why do we keep stuffing our faces and expecting ignorance to cure all our ails? Big farming is all about supply and demand so why is it such an absurd thought to some that we demand more of our supply?

My cash flow is a sparse vein. I cannot always eat the way I believe in. Big farms know this and they know that I am not the only one, they count on it, in fact. This won't stop the change that is coming, though, just slow it down. I am no expert on the matter, but I can get there. The more we know, the more power we will have, and the more good we can do.

America is not known for is influx of healthy citizens. In fact, the rest of the world sees us as that fat spoiled sibling who threw a few temper tantrums and got their way too many times. We are known for our ridiculously fatty food and our rotund midsections, and for good reason. We are also know as a country of people who never take a break. So many of us work so hard for so long so we can provide for ourselves and our families, it seems absurd that we fall short when it comes to matters of what fuels us and what, in reality, rules us. There is more on the line here than the welfare of our animals, our meat, or our crops, our very own welfare is, too.

Like I said, I'm no expert so I'll stop there before my soapbox sermon gets preachy. I guess the summation is this; get to know your food. Have a relationship with it and see if you can stomach it. If not, break up with your current food and get into a new kind of relationship with your food. Remember, communication is key in any relationship so, start speaking up.

Some links on the subject:
http://www.sustainabletable.org/246/sustainable-agriculture-the-basics
http://www.sare.org

Friday, April 25, 2014

Greetings from Planet Weird -or- Not Following in the Fashion Footsteps of the Emperor

Long time no post, I know. I'm sorry. I have no explanation except that I'm pretty terrible about journaling and keeping up with it, I always have been. I'm here to give it another shot though.

At work the other day, a coworker said something to me that has been rattling around in my brain. This happens a lot, someone will ask me a question and I only have the time to answer it in part and then something interrupts or they walk off thinking that they get the basic gist of it but the other parts of the answer just keep floating though my brain. Its frustrating for a lot of reasons but that is a post for another day. Today I want to purge the rest of this answer from my head.

At work we get to pretty much choose our work uniform. Usually it ends up being something loose and baggy but we also get the option of wearing the more traditional and professional chef coat (or in this case shirt) and chef pants (baggy pants). I have chosen the second option for my work attire for almost as long as I've worked there while a number of my coworkers have chosen a loose and comfortable t-shirt with baggy pants.

During a conversation my coworker and I were having, he told me never understood why I chose the chef jacket option. Admittedly Chef Jackets have a reputation for being fairly hot because of the heavy fabric and long sleeves, though the jackets I wear are nothing like that and are very breathable. I think of all the reasons I had for my choice I told him that wearing the same thing everyday made planning for work a literal no-brainer. I never have to go through my shirts and try to figure out which one I want to wear for that day. There is also the added benefit that I don't end up ruining the shirts I have that I like. I can't tell you haw often I have ended up with a grease stain on a shirt that I wore to work one day or ruined a colored shirt because we were working with bleach that day. Honestly, I was content to leave it at that but then I had a conversation with another girl cook, who is visiting the city, that touched on the subject again.

So, long story cut short (and yes, this IS the shortened version), here are my reasons and reasonings.
1.) it really is VERY nice to not have to think about what I'm going to wear to work on any given day. So many of the shirts I have aren't necessarily casual and the ones that are are lower cut than I'd ever like to wear at work. I have found that practical girl shirts for work are tougher to find then one might think. They are either too low cut, an awful quality, or they aren't long enough to not ride up the whole shift.
2.) I like that only a small portion of my closet will ever smell like work. I also like that only a small portion of my closet with have to suffer through the stains that go along with work. What kind of stains? Let me list just a few; grease, tomatoes, beets, red wine, bleach, and by far the grossest..... pit stains. Yep, it not pretty and certainly not lady like but its the honest truth. Speaking of ladylike...
3.) This uniform I choose is not flattering in the slightest. Whenever I wear it I look like a giant rectangle and I am perfectly content with that. These clothes become more than just loose unflattering cloth they are the great equalizer. They say, I don't care what I look like here and I certainly hope you don't either. I'm at work to work. I don't want to worry about my wardrobe ever. What's more, I don't want anyone else to think about what I'm wearing either. The few times I've varied from my drab garb I have heard everyone's two cents about my Batman shirt, or my Xmen shirt, or any number of other things. In the kitchens that I have worked in sexual harassment hasn't ever really been a thing. sure you get a creeper or two but ignore them and everything usually works itself out. Feeling exposed, in some ways feels worse than if someone else thinks you are. You get self conscience and flustered and are always doing a self check which gets in the way of your focus. Which brings me to my next point.
4.) On top of keeping me 'covered' and feeling overly self aware over something so trivial at work it sends another message to the people I work with (or at least I hope it does) that I'm there to get stuff done. I look the way I do because I don't have time to flit about flirting with everyone, that's not my goal. I want to be taken seriously, not just looked at like a girl who is afraid to break a nail or some such bother. Other girls I know don't have a problem asserting themselves when the challenge arises and they do great. Personally, I want to look professional (yep, drab and floppy is the professional cook way, its a safety thing) because I want to be looked at like a professional.

Strangely my attire, though it has been meant to hide me in the kitchen has apparently made me stick out as weird or something which is a real shame. There are so many things about me that are so much weirder and are far more interesting! Unlike the emperor from the fable I refuse their fashion trends, I don't care if everyone is doing it, I won't expose myself to the masses because...
5.) My uniform is my armor.
Goodnight.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Somber Sunday

Today was a very sad day at work. One of the greats, a guy who has been there since the place opened left to head to his home state. Yesterday was his last night and he is leaving a big hole in the place. He was so talented and quick and kind to boot. I've had plenty a bad day that was turned around just because he had a few nice words to throw my way. I really look up to him which is weird for me to say because he is a few years younger than me but he holds the standard right now for how much better I need to be, not just as a cook, but as a person, too. Hateful and sharp words are too easy to throw out when you're busy and feeling stressed and I want to work to not take the easy way in those situations.
My friend and I also went to visit a former sous at his new place for dinner. I'm not going to lie, it was pretty high up in price for me but he was so gracious and wonderful and treated us like freaking princesses. It was totally worth it to see him and support him in his new adventure (and he was nice enough to lighten the load to our wallets a little too.)
I've always had a bit of a dark side and it hit me today at 5:00 in the morning when my body just decided that awake was the way to be that early, that if I put my two weeks in today for one reason or another, would anyone miss me? Would anyone think even half as highly as I have thought of those who have just recently left. The truthful and hard answer is no. I cannot honestly say that where I am has been made any better by me being there and is a hard pill to swallow. It also has a way for lighting a fire under my seat. I want to make an impact for the good no matter where I am and if I haven't done it yet then I need to step my game the hell up. 
I've always felt kind of transient in my life. I'm smart enough to know that this feeling probably comes from not feeling comfortable in my own skin more than simply not fitting in like I think I should. I do feel like I'm in a good place to get where I need to be though. Nothing feels easy here and I constantly feel like I'm free falling without a net or a parachute in sight and it makes me long for the people from my former life. I wanna cry to my friends, my family, my former chefs, anyone who feels like home for me. And this is what I used to do. But this is not how one grows. Roots are important and I love the ones that I have but they can't be all you have because then you're just a weed. I want to be someone worth knowing, someone who lives and isn't afraid and for right now that is not me, not yet. I guess this is my long winded way of saying that I miss you all terribly but that I can't come back yet.  
I love you all. 
And don't get mad at me for a sad post! It IS titled Somber Sunday for a reason.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Hey you guuuuuuys!!!

Hello and salutations!
So....I have not been a very good blogger lately. I'm sorry I have not posted for a long while. Life decided to intervene again and sleeping became my new hobby. Now, though, classes have ended for me and all I have is work and moving into my new place which is super exciting! I'll write more soon!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Etta in the Warmth

Lately I've been listing to a lot of oldies. I have discovered listened to Jackson Browne, Sam Cook, Al Green, and whoever else Pandora throws at me. This includes the incredible Etta James. I honestly don't know how I've never known her before now. She has such an incredible sound. There is a line in one of my favorite movies, Love Actually, where one one the characters talks about how much she loves Joni Mitchell and why. Her explanation is, "Joni Mitchell taught (me) how to feel." I don't know much about Ms. Mitchell but listening to Etta, I get it. I really really do.
I love December. I think it may be, hands down, my favorite month. Between the fairy lights in all the trees and the smell of the evergreens that are decked out everywhere, December just has this effervescent ambiance that is hard to beat. The only thing missing is the cold and snow which apparently is too hard a request for Chicago at the moment. Yesterday or was almost 70degrees. Today it is almost 60. I was warned about these ridiculous winters that aren't for the faint of heart and so far it's more like Colorado than anything else. Winter, just get here! I realize, of course, that in saying this I have just jinxed myself to get stuck in the airport on my way home for Christmas. Not like that would actually stop me from coming home though, I have way too much moxy and smarts to let old man winter keep me from the people I love.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Jubilation!

"It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joys."
~Antione De Saint-Exupery

Who likes exciting news? Everybody?!

Exciting news everybody! They emailed me back last weekend! I got to stage again for the place I worked at two weeks ago and they offered me a job! I'm so excited I can't stop smiling! Or dancing! I'm so happy that I get to go back and play and learn in that kitchen for a while! WOO HOO!
My weekend wasn't shaping up quite like I had hoped it would. My plans to go to Indiana and see the Magnificent Ms. Fox didn't work out because the train schedule and my school schedule just wouldn't pan out, at least not for this weekend. I was starting to feel a little bummed as a result of this unfortunate information and then BAM! awesomeness! The way the events unfolded was really amusing too. After I wrote a thank you email to the Executive Chef for the opportunity to work in his kitchen I realized that I really should thank the man who put my name in the Chef's hat in the first place, so I wrote him an email as well. The result was a back and forth correspondence of what staging was and the such. This friend of the family asked me if a stage was all I was looking for out of it so I wrote back that I would have loved to work there but I hadn't heard back and maybe I wasn't at the right level, or just right for, or all the hundreds of 'nice' ways to say that they didn't want me while trying to not be a disappointed baby about the whole thing. As soon as I hit the 'send' button I look at my inbox and BAM email from the Executive Chef telling me that they'd like me back and if I could come back Tuesday (yesterday). I just about combusted with joy. There was ridiculous dance moves nonstop smiles. I start today which means this gets to be a short post but I'll post more when I can on the matter!